Bird watching trip? Excuse me, I’d rather sleep.

Photo: Author. Apparently there was a bird somewhere in these trees and I couldn’t spot it. Try spotting if you can.

Have you ever gone bird watching? I tell you, it is the most ridiculously unnatural and futile activity ever; more futile than screaming before a five year old asking him to wear his shoes for the 555th time before leaving home. First, bird watching demands waking up at a traumatic ungodly hour on the pretext of watching birds who have weird sleep cycles anyway. Second, birds don’t want to be watched. They want to be left alone. If you are unsure of this, go ask a bird. Really go!

To top it all, I also need to wake up the little one and drag him out of bed straight out the door while he resists because he has to pee, but I ask if he can hold on for three hours because the birds will fly away if it is too late, or the boat that takes us for the bird spotting safari will leave us on the banks making us waddle in shame for oversleeping. Though sleepy, the child looks at my face wondering if its the same mom he had seen before sleeping, and that look makes me push him to the washroom.

Also, just like the predicted results in every parent vs kid battle, I give in to the kid and wait for fifteen more minutes because he insists on tying his pyjama drawstrings before leaving and vehemently opposes any help. His sleepy fingers slide from under the strings each time he tries to make a loop but I have nothing much to do except breathe slowly and…